What You Taught Me

*brought over from my FB page*

Alex,

You taught me that no matter how broken my wings were, I could still find a way to make them fly. That the sky was the limit, and not even that. You told me every single day that I was a badass, that I was perfect, that we were a team and could do anything we put our minds to together. You also taught me that I could do whatever I put my own mind to and that I didn’t need you to make me whole.
You taught me that I am not worthless. You taught me to find worth in myself and to demand that others treat me with the respect I was due. You taught me that I did not have to respect others, their opinions, or their thoughts and ideas without question or without pause. You taught me that their opinions of me had no baring on me and that if nothing else, I should never believe their thoughts on what I was supposed to do with my life.
You taught me patience, to take a breath before I reacted, and to remain calm in situations where I had no control. You taught me to let things go and to try as hard as I could to understand where other people were coming from. You taught me to judge less and listen more.
You taught me how to live – how to look at a situation and say “fuck it” to my own mental road blocks to why I shouldn’t do things that made me happy. You taught me how to see the world better, how to engage better, and how to forgive more than I did before.
You taught me how to love. Truly love. You taught me that love is never, ever, ever about what you say but is always about what you do. You taught me that showing you love someone comes in many different forms and facets, that a simple “text me when you get there” shows more love for a person than “I Love You” ever could. Love is never about money. Love is never about possession. Love is never about who gets the last word and who is right or wrong. You taught me that I was loveable simply by loving me the way that you did. For caring about what happened to me, both in the past and moving forward, and working hard to combat the awful things I’d been told to accept about myself for as long as I can remember. You taught me that in the darkest of times, in the scariest of situations, I could rely on others who wanted nothing but the best for me. You made me trust, again.
You also taught me the value of my own opinion – that I had absolutely every right to feel the way I felt and to speak up about what I thought was wrong. You gave me the permission I never knew I needed to just be Myself. To be authentically myself. You told me that you always knew who and what I was but that you knew it would take time for me to see it for myself. You guided me, but never pushed, and allowed me to blossom into my personality for the first time in a very long time. You engaged me in debates, you taught me everything you could think of, and you TALKED with me about why I felt so strongly about certain things but couldn’t care less about others. You valued me.
A long time ago, my Dad told me to find someone worthy of me and to never settle for anything less. I knew in the very first few days of being with you that I had fulfilled that promise.
I told you once, not very long ago, that I felt that you had “settled”when you decided to be with me. I remember you looking like I had slapped you..not because it was an insult to you but because you could not believe for even a second that I would believe that of myself. You told me that if you ever heard me say that again, we were going to have problems….that you had never settled, that you had never found anyone else like me, and that you loved me.
You taught me to be the best version of myself. To love myself. To admire myself. To see myself through your eyes and let the world see how amazing I could be.
I’ll carry that with me forever. ❤

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