Time is one of the most misunderstood concepts when it comes to grief, I think. For some reason or another, in our society anyway, we are told that one of the best ways to help someone who has experienced great sorrow to heal is to tell them that Time will help them to recover. “Time heals all wounds” – and we all say it without even thinking about it.
Have you ever thought about what Time is? Other than Wibbly Wobbly, Timey Wimey stuff (cue Doctor Who theme song), its really an arbitrary definition of space that man created. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years…etc are the way that we quantify our existence but that’s really all it is. How many times do we successfully spin around the sun until our bodies cannot go forward any further? That’s all it is.
So..when someone tells me that time will heal me, time will heal my heart, time will bring me love, time will make me see how beautiful life can still be? They’re wrong. Time doesn’t do that. The passage of those seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, years will not heal the loss of a part of your heart. It won’t happen.
I have watched older people who lost their spouses around my age find life, joy, happiness again – absolutely! I find the world is still a beautiful place with experiences that are worth having and worth striving for. Dreams that are worth having and worth striving for. People who will love you for who and what you are without question and without ulterior motive. Sunrises, sunsets, crossroads, decisions that will change the very fabric of your entire existence – yes.
However; does time heal your wounds? No. It simply covers them in scars so that you remember what it is to heal and keep moving.