What No One Tells You

True love does die.

There, I said it.

Call it the first of unpopular opinions that you will see in this post, but the fact remains that against all odds, true love DOES die. It dies at 5am on a random Thursday morning when your phone rings with the news that you weren’t there for your soulmate’s last breath. It dies on the first sunrise after they are gone. It dies 5 months later, on a random Sunday afternoon when you look over to tell them something and they aren’t there. It dies with every tear you shed, every sob that threatens to shake your very soul from your body, every scream inside your head that you can’t or won’t let out into the open, every moment that flies by you with the knowledge that this nightmare you’re living will not end.

Then there are the other ways that YOU will die.  You will die every time you see a happy couple walk by you, You will die every time you see a picture of a couple getting engaged, finding out they’re having a baby, every time people decide to end a good relationship for selfish reasons. You will die every time someone minimizes your pain – the platitudes that will shatter every piece of you, only to have those pieces used to stab you afterward. You will die every time someone shows interest in you, you’ll tell yourself a thousand evil things that make you unworthy and with each of those things, you lose a piece of yourself. Sometimes its small pieces, other times you’ll swear up and down that only a sliver of you remains.  You will die with every dawn, with every sunset, with every ebb and flow of the tide of life.  Other people will steal pieces of you for themselves – take the story that is your life and utilize it to validate the positives and negatives of their own. You’ll hear the whispers of your name in every room – hear the criticism, the guilt, the hopes, the dreams of others that will crush you no matter how hard you try to remain a rock and stay strong. It won’t matter. Even concrete breaks.

I guess its not so much that True Love dies. The love you have for someone else doesn’t die. Its more that in order to come out of it alive – you will have to die a million deaths. Its just that no one tells you how much more being reborn into a new world and having to rebuild that world from the bottom up will drain every ounce of who you once were or who you once thought you wanted to become.

Ah, sacrifice. That’s the only way out.

 

 

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